Friday, June 11, 2010

2009 Can Suck It

2009 kicked my ass. I went from a six figure income to homeless in less than a year. My car got repossessed, I learned that I had been naive about so many things, and I learned that people close to me had been wondering about whether or not I was considering suicide (I can say with certainty I was not). In 2009, I wasn't much fun to be around.

Still, even as my life was going to hell, I found a way to crawl out of it. I found an active social group among the Ruby on Rails community here in San Francisco, and I did everything I could to leave my pity party at home when I'd hang out with them. Instead of begging for help, I became an active member of the community and helped out whoever I could in any way I could find. At best I created value for people and at worst I was a nice guy who tried to be useful (and no one complains about that).

Things are better now. In my fight to get back on my feet, I've developed the skills and relationships to become successful. I've grown the guts to forge my own path and make my own decisions. I go after what I want without apology, and I do my best to want things that are good for me and those around me. I'm heading in a certain direction, and I like the path I'm on. The destination doesn't even matter.

There's one thing I've learned. Having fun is essential. I know for a fact that part of what helped me keep my head above water was being able to look someone in eye and say "I'm getting beat up left and right, but I'm having a blast." I still get kicked in the nuts by life, but I just laugh it off and I crumple over in pain. After all, it's morbidly funny to watch someone get kicked in the nuts, so I may as well join in the fun. It's also nice to give kickee a hand up off the ground, so I might as well be nice to myself and pick myself up.

If I can, I'll pick you up, too. If I can help and don't, what's the point of it all?

1 comment:

  1. You're amazing Michael. My impression is that you know what you want to do and are willing to go through tough times to make it happen. Although the journey is not pretty, it what it's required to get to something that's meaningful to you in your life. Don't give up your dream for a couple of comfy years.
    A Bev