Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dear CR: How's My Cover Letter?

DEAR CAPTAIN RECRUITER,

You turned me down for the job I applied to - Director Of Customer Acquisition. Even though I didn't get it, would you mind critiquing the cover letter I used to apply? Here it is...

    Dear Sir or Madam:

    Your HR department has advertised a job opening for which I am directly qualified. I have production experience for marketing as well as business development firms. I have worked in both the business-to-business marketing sector as well as direct business to consumer areas. I am experienced with driving traffic to sites using social networking, blogging, and email marketing and am excellent at using the latest technology to provide measurable results. I have experience in putting together marketing materials and campaigns from beginning to completion, and am comfortable working within deadlines and budgets all while realizing a client’s vision. I am comfortable and relaxed in public speaking and meticulous in writing and presentations. My greatest strength however, lies in my ability to communicate effectively with others and drive them and myself, to work harder, smarter, and more efficiently.

    My marketing experience gives me a unique ability to interpret what it is the customer wants and analyze the best way to bring it to them while maintaining brand integrity for our clients. I excel at team building, motivating and moving a group towards a consensus.

    My salary requirements are commensurate with my experience and are open to negotiation. With my experience and level of responsibility I have in the past earned a competitive salary. In looking at other companies offers I am expecting offers in the range of 40,000 to 45,000 a year exclusive of benefits.

    I would enjoy an opportunity to talk with you or someone in your organization to see where my skill set would be of the greatest benefit to your company. Please feel free to contact me anytime if any further questions arise.


SINCERELY,
CHELSEA

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DEAR CHELSEA,

Here's your same exact cover letter, showing the information that helped me decide whether or not you were a potential Director Of Customer Acquisition...
    I am experienced with driving traffic to sites using social networking, blogging, and email marketing and am excellent at using the latest technology to provide measurable results.

I know you're a loyal fan of this blog, so hopefully you'll take this as constructive criticism. Almost your entire cover letter was generic fluff. Pretty much the only things I need to know are why you applied, why you think you're a fit, where you've done this type of work before, and maybe if you have a sense of humor or some capacity for original thought. I'd much rather have seen a cover letter like this...
    Hi Captain Recruiter,

    I'm applying for this role because I'm an up and coming online marketing guru and I can get you customers. SEM, SEO, and email marketing are all a passion of mine. In my most recent position I kicked off the company's first ever online marketing campaign, and we generated $250K in new sales over 12 months after spending only 100 hours of time and $2500 running the campaign.

    Even if I'm not a fit, keep me in mind for more junior positions. I eat, drink, and breathe customer acquisition!

    Cheers,
    Chelsea

Be concise, targeted, and relevant. Hope that helps a little.

CHEERS,
CAPTAIN RECRUITER

1 comment:

  1. Well, Cover Letter is helpful for job seekers. This really helps us in many ways. Wonderful article. Thanks for sharing a great information.

    Resume Cover Letter Samples

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